ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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