i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
