Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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