My hair reeks of homosexuality.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
