haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize