I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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