Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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