Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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