I wannas sexs uuuuu
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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