is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
