worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize