Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
