dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
