He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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