the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My first STD was from a foam party
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
