its not stalking. its research.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Can I color on your dick again?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
