Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
