adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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