So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize