Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
