She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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