That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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