I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
