i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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