16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
