I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize