is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
