WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
