do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
