The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
