so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize