It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
