I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
