She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
