wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
