i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
