I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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