Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
