what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
