I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize