I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
