You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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