I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
