Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
