I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
