party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
