and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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