Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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