On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
