Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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