I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
