While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She just used a chaser for red wine.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize