Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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