I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
