this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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