Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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