Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
