OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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