butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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