apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize