so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
only you would photoshop your dick
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
