she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
