when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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