That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
