it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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