what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
