Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
