I don't think brook has ever known best
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
