how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm too high and old for this...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
