I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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