What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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