it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
