So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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