and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
