dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
