Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Pants 0. Shit 1.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
